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Tips for Parents of Twins

Pregnancy

A twin pregnancy is quite different from a singleton pregnancy. Aside from the obvious fact that you are carrying the weight of two babies, your body is also trying to deal with significantly higher levels of pregnancy hormones such as hCG and progesterone. This catalyzes your symptoms. You will most likely feel more nauseated during the first trimester, more tired during the second, and more uncomfortable during the third than you would in a "normal" pregnancy. Make sure you have a supportive partner or family and friends to help you prepare, and get plenty of rest. Be prepared for the possibility that you could be placed on bedrest by your doctor if you experience preterm labor symptoms. Lastly, be prepared for frequent visits to the obstetrician. By the end of your pregnancy, you will have appointments every week.

The Shopping Spree

You may be tempted to buy two of everything you'd need to prepare for a new baby, but this is not true in many cases. Many of us cannot afford to do that anyway! Every parent is different. Different products and routines work for different people, so I can't tell you exactly what products you will use the most. However, it is a good idea to start out with a single quantity of more expensive items such as swings, bouncy seats, and bath tubs. You may find that one baby prefers to spend their time in one place that the other does not like. It's helpful to check with your local Moms of Multiples group to find item swaps and group yard sales.

Birth

Preparing for the birth of your twins is not as straightforward as you may like. Full term pregnancy occurs at 37 weeks or earlier in multiple pregnancies, versus the average 40 weeks. This may make planning difficult. My doctor was willing to deliver my daughters at any time past 34 weeks. They were born at 35.5 weeks, but there have been many cases of women giving birth to twins at 40 weeks. Make sure you have a doctor you can trust. This is true in all pregnancies, but yours will automatically be treated as high-risk.

Life In Twos

Once you're a parent of twins, you will quickly realize that the first thing you need to do is develop a routine. It is important to learn how to multitask and do everything "in twos": two outfits, two bottles, two diapers and wipes.

Try to make a routine as soon as you and your twins come home from the hospital. They will adapt more quickly than you anticipate. In my experience, the first six weeks were extremely difficult. It seemed as though one baby was always awake or needing something. It is important to have as much help around as possible. If you find yourself struggling alone, that local Moms of Multiples group will come in handy. Many groups have volunteers who will visit you to help or even bring you a meal during those difficult first weeks. My husband and I made a routine the day we came home and stuck to it. We listened to a lot of crying at night, but once the twins were fed, changed, and content, we would put them in their cribs and they would stay there. As long as we knew their needs were met, we knew they were fine. Over time, they settled into their schedules, and they were both sleeping through the night by the time they were six weeks old! That still shocks people to this day. Feeding schedules are a bit more tricky because they are dependent upon the demands of the babies, but it will be very helpful to you if you can synchronize them.

Reactions in Public

Twins are a source of fascination to many people. You will be stopped by people in public everywhere you go - especially during those first months. Here's a list of the most common things you will hear:

"Wow! Double trouble!" - This person thinks it's the most original statement they've ever made, but you've already heard it three times today alone.

"Are they identical?" - You can't just say "no" if they're fraternal. People will pause and stare at you, dumbfounded. It seems that you have to add, "they're fraternal" to this statement to satisfy them!

"Do twins run in your family?" - This question is particularly uncomfortable if you went through infertility treatments. "Awww. I want to have twins!" - Nod and smile, knowing that they have no idea what you're talking about.

The Toddler Years

As your twins grow older, you'll start to see the experience from a more positive light. You'll remember what it was like to sleep at night, and they'll become more independent. Here's the best part; they'll keep each other occupied. My daughters can play together for hours without even noticing I'm there, whereas my (singleton) son gets bored easily and demands more of my time. There will be a lot of fighting and yelling between them, but they have an unbreakable bond that never ceases to amaze me. It is a joy to see this. Ok, so it wasn't such a joy when the time came for them to be potty trained. I can still say, along with every other parent of multiples I've met, that I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.